I find creating a role and working a self story into a character with role play elements can give enjoyment with the right type of motivation.

I also like to put restrictions on myself or play something that I am not great as but still enjoy.

So I guess I make my own motivation and that gives me the impetus to do a thing.

I create my own dopamine channels through my own player agency, although finding those type of games is down to player choice or experience

I think a nice game to explore

Might fit criteria 2 a bit but:

Outer Wilds, there is time pressure but it is always recommended to not spoil yourself and just discover the story on your own steam and allow yourself to figure things out on your own.

If it is video games

I think do not force yourself to play

Like there are games that I just take forever to be in a mood for - like I can have a certain game phase and I would watch something around it, read a bit about it.

It is like how the big companies build hype, but you build your own hype and then when you get in the mood just try to immerse yourself in a session

Don’t have to finish a game, just play( within reason) until you get your fill.

Could focus on short intense session games, left 4 dead or slay the spire, so you can enjoy a session or two or if rpgs, depend on personal preferences, I like to come up with at least a theme around a character and really try to rp the role.

If you don’t mind reading, games like disco elysium I found was one of those games that I had friction getting into until I stopped thinking too much about what I wanted to exactly play and just picked a role and stuck with it and it is one of those games that will show you different sides to it depending on your role play.

Whatever you do, be careful of factorio if you value your time - there is a reason it is called cracktorio because it has a way to “hack” your brain into an efficiency mindset of always looking for more to create more and you loop this gameplay mindset of “the factory must grow”

I assume you are getting help and some form of therapy if you received a diagnosis and taking tests.

I don’t know if this will help and I am sure someone more qualified can correct me, but maybe you can make improvements with framing things in a different way.

Like you say you have an over-active imagination, perhaps try and frame an element of work towards a goal or make a checklist of what you need to do and reward yourself when you complete say 50% of the goals in the day and try work yourself up to 75% and then 100% of goals. Make it into something you can interact with and look at it like a game and a form of motivation.

I don’t know, for me I can do things in short bursts when I try and force myself to try move forward and I think the longest streak was when I was able to “hold myself accountable” for doing a certain amount of tasks in a day.

For me, a common thing that seems to help is to do something and “reward” myself if I make progress which seems to be a generally positive reinforcement to me.

So I guess try and frame it into a reward system to make yourself feel like you achieved something instead of a burden. I do not know if that is wrong or more harmful but maybe it can help?

I mean I am coming to terms that I have a little bit of everything while I learn about myself and the closest I got to a diagnosis was an unofficial one of ADHD, Depression and Anxiety

I don’t know if some of it is similar, but I can sort understand some of your experiences.

It is like the energy is focused on what is perceived as “important” and when you have time alone then there is a just a feeling of being drained and the body shuts down because of all that energy to maintain appearances.

I don’t know if there is an insecurity with maintaining appearances and without thinking putting in more energy into people than they deserve, but I can understand the feeling of giving work ( when I had work) more than it deserved.

That is a me thing and maybe it is relatable.

I can’t really offer any advice because I have been forced to just keep going without much quality involved working on improving and I have a lot of maladaption developed from that.

I do think the advice offered by others has merits though and hopefully you can find something that can lessen or at least help spread out the intensity of your concentration

I have only played the first chapter - old (out of 3, I believe)

Was also a very engaging game, had a very coming of age theme to it with a combat system that seemed simple but starts to show its depth once abilities get unlocked and you start to chain it.

I liked how the relationships felt more grounded and the story’s build up had, for me, more intrigue and mystery than most jrpgs

Only complaint, more like criticism, is it is a nightmare for people that feel the need to complete everything or realise that the npcs have different dialogues over time and feel compelled to make sure that everything is done before moving on. That can be a positive or negative depending on player though.

Despite the criticism, it did feel good to know I deserved and worked for the ending I got, even though I found out after I missed a few things

I would say depends on your preferences

By today’s standards, old 7 gameplay, graphics and story will seem dated.

I am unable to play the newer ones, but from what little I have seen it seems to “feel” better when you see and know characters from the original.

I have played and finished old ff7 and if you don’t mind reading everything, some grinding unless you are going to for the secret stuff ( which is heavy grinding) it should be a “smooth” experience once you get to grips with the game systems, graphics and gameplay - and yeah, It can feel difficult in the old one to get into but I found the payoffs were engaging, had moments of emotional resonance and generally felt satisfied by the end - but that is because I allowed myself to be engaged with the game world.

That is all up to personal taste, as I know there are games that have had a stronger effect on me, but I also understand why FF 7 is rated the way it is.

Update:

So anxiety attacks suck, usually these devolve into panic attacks, but I am trying to calm down

Trying to take deep breaths, trying not to be so tense so I don’t feel so rigid, calm the the heart rate, breathe…

I know this is like i am turning it into something like anaccountability journal, but I don’t know a more effective way to cut off the thought spiral as writing down things seems to calm the anxiety.

At least writing it out where I cannot hide it, can allow me to confront this later at hopefully a better time.

It is ugly emotions, emotions I want to cut off out of my system, emotions that build up and fill me with disgust.

I want to throw up, it’s exhausting.

Damn it, I feel pathetic

I just need to breath

Thank you for advice,

I can try

I do not think there is much physical clubs in the area where I live.

There is an online group I play games with online but the geographical distance is quite far, but I know I am bit of a trauma landmine so try maintain the acquaintance/ friend line.

Actively joining random official game groups drains my social battery very fast ( I cannot maintain my social cohesion and start to get more internally-agitated) and leaves me exhausted even if I can sort of meld in somewhat successfully.

I guess physical clubs would be better as I can get a two-in-one bonus of physical and social activity in one.

If I had the finances, I would love to join a gym or take up a martial art, but alas it is out of my current financial means

Overall, the idea is something I should try to put some more thought and effort into as it did bring me back to at least what options I have immediately and what options that could be potential.

So thank you again.

Also thank you for snap back, broke me out of the loop, feeling a bit calmer now

I don’t have a dog anymore, he past away almost 10 years ago, i still only have one picture of him though

Toe? I feel out of the loop

I see the title - and first thing I think

“Oblivion, now with 16 times the upscalers” in Todd’s voices

I think this is where the nuance is and where the things can go off the rails. Your example is that you want to more easily be connected with people that you enjoy engaging with but find it hard to find - which you did attempt to find a work around for, which I do commend.

I think because of the volume of scale of the internet it has been fine-tuned and engineered towards benefiting the major players more as they have taken convenience features and frankenstein’d it into a tool of “increased engagement”.

It is like a market square and everyone is shouting out their wares at the same time and the major players (and others) have done their research on how to be the “loudest and most attention-grabbing hawker at the square”

Here the algorithm approach is useful to help “silence the sea of voices” and find “hawkers” that sell “products” that are of interest to you. It does require some discipline on the users part to curate their “hawkers”, but overall the experience is improved as one deals with “products” that is aligned with one’s interests.

I feel, in general, however that the intent has been twisted into something that has become a slippery slope that slides down towards “how can I get eyes on my thing and keep people coming back” for as long as possible. One’s attention gets bombarded with as many ideas as possible and, from this, one’s scope starts to bloat and becomes muddy as one processes too many different ideas and viewpoints in a short time frame and as a result one spends less time forming a individual opinion. I believe this does contribute to shorter attention spans as we attempt to “offload” our thinking onto something else as we try to make sense of all the information we take in.

The easiest thing I can think of is TikTok and how quickly the short video format was incorporated into the big platforms.

It is a human shortcoming I feel that gets taken advantage of (and I feel like it is being cultivated) and as humans we do have a side to us that tries to optimise the shit out of a things - often to our detriment.

I was served the channel by the algorithm and was concerned with the length so I attempted to share in a neutral manner unsure on reception.

I found it interesting and wanted to share the opinion

Yeah, there is a lot of evolving information, yet for now one can still have some measure of control over the content one can engage with

Yes, that is a good idea around what I am thinking in regards to the “magic addictive formula”

They have a system in play that optimises the play experience in a way that is rewarding to “addictive habits” and attempts to “encourage” a habit that leans towards an addiction.

Thank you, it seems the scope of the thought was a lot more open-ended than I imagined.

Was thinking in the line of the how the big game companies seem to try to hook people onto their game experiences and when one hits it big, how they attempt to moderate that experience around trying to keep it at a level that is akin to selling cigarettes.

It is like they are trying to find that “magic addictive formula” and try to be the sole provider of that experience to keep a person coming back to them.

That sounds depressing, it is like they commoditised cheat codes. Sad to see it fall into the trappings that the game makes fun of. I can almost imagine what the GTA 6 version might become if they decide to intergrate that level of “hooks” into its shiny game environment.

I think that was the 2K launcher, if I recall, I remember they were doing something with their games (was playing XCOM 2 at the time) and promptly made use of a workaround

Didn’t like the extra steps just to get into a game - like they were reminding you that you only pay for the license to play the game and the property is theirs to do with as they please. I mean, it is, but still doesn’t help feeling like I am being constantly reminded.

That is probably one of the more famous examples, yeah. They pivoted resources from the single player experience once they saw how much money they were making with their shark cards (I believe it was called). Developed an ecosystem that encouraged spending money to enjoy the game (but not forced) and I guess it was an equivalent experience of getting players to “micro-dose” with a payment to bypass elements of grind to get the best stuff and have an overall smoother experience.

Yeah, they are more apt comparisons where the target market is built upon consistent small (or large) payments that are in a business’ best interests - like in-game currencies (chips in gambling sense) are used to obfuscate the value of what a player is spending money on (which falls into one of the many psychological tricks you mentioned)