Unless you’re Dayman.

Ok dad

I went wondering through a valley that the town I was living in was named after.

For some reason nobody ever went into the valley. It was surrounded on both sides by five lane highways.

That I being a curious young man saw that there were vehicle paths into the valley, so I told myself one day I’m bored, I’ve got nothing else to do. I’m gonna go walk the valley and see what I find.

I made it to the bottom of the valley relatively easily. And then I noticed that the sun was setting, so I had to leave.

I decided I’m here to explore I’m gonna take a different path back up and I made it about a third of the way up when I ran into my first spiderweb

Wiped myself off, freaked out for a second, kept on walking, ran into another spider web.

Wiped myself off, freaked out for a couple of seconds, kept on walking, ran into another fucking spider web.

Wiped myself off, completely freaked out, started running, ran into more fucking spider webs.

So many goddamn spider webs.

And this was in the southeast, an area that’s known for brown recluses and black widows, so I was freaking the fuck out.

Finally the spider webs grew too plentiful and I grew too weak from the hundreds of spider bites and I died.