I’m a Satanist, but I fuck with based Jesus.

Dead Hand fucked me up in 1998. I don’t think I’ve been quite right since.

Hope y’all like avant garde blackened death jazz.

Holy shit, I shouldn’t have looked.

Bullshit, that’s some shwag. Hit me up, I got that cage free.

Me next.

After hurricane Helene we didn’t have electricity for 6 days. But I’ve been completely powerless for 34 years.

Where there’s a hole, there’s a goal vole.

He was saying it with his heart.

Must be nice.

Are you insinuating that I’m a baby because I believe that mothers and fathers both deserve the same level of accomodation in regards to caring for their children in public spaces? I sure hope that’s not what you’re insinuating, because that would make you a cunt. You don’t want to be a cunt, do you?

I’ve been known to go into the women’s room to change a diaper when the men’s room doesn’t have a changing table. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s supremely irritating to me as a dad.

spin spin

Hail Beakman!

Sounds exactly like every other generic southern California pop punk band.

I like the cut of your jib, friend.

I can’t really provide much insight, but I was once contracted by a local Masonic lodge to install new windows. I had unsupervised access to pretty much any room that had a window in it, and I was even permitted to look around in the windowless chamber where they performed many of their rituals. They were actually pretty excited to show me around. I can’t imagine that they would allow a perfect stranger into their secret lair if they really had anything to hide. But, ya know, take what I say with a pinch of salt as it’s just one anecdote about one lodge in Nowhere, Ohio.

That erases any fun there is to be had. I want them to know it.