Imagine spending weeks in the jungle holding a camouflaged urine collection bag under a chimpanzee while also dodging falling chimpanzee shit. What a life.

No standups, no Workday goals, just nature. And piss. And flying shit. What a lucky guy.

Based on the anesthetic I had a few years ago it’s probably not the third thing, but the therapist was annoying me.

A long time ago, my old therapist asked me what I thought would happen after I died. I told him I didn’t know and was ok waiting to find out when it happened. He pressed me on it and I said “ok, either the big switch flips and that’s it, or something soul-like survives, or the human mind dilates my final moments into an eternity because it cannot comprehend non-existence.” And then he changed the subject.

This reminds me of that.

I, for one, prefer the quiet dignity of controlling Leon Kennedy like a runaway semi with a gun.

This makes me very, very happy. Keep up the good work and send some of the snow west.

Dave Mustaine says a lot of stuff.

Clone Tuvix, separate one clone, use phaser on Neelix. Best of all worlds.

I dunno, but see also: hardcore Limp Bizket fans in the late 90s.

He was less excited about having to stay after to do the vacuuming.

!!!

LOL

Wow.

All these years I’ve been reading a book without an orange.

I SUPPOSE YOU COULD JUST MURDER A PIECE OF CHEESE.

I’d watch it. I’d make my friends watch it.

Angry Borg neighbor: “Ernest of Nine is self-actualizing again”

Yeah I’ve seen that one. He’s pretending to be a world-famous Kabuki performer for… reasons. It’s hilarious.

My advice is to bid her farewell and mourn a little. If it’s any consolation, the person you have a crush on only existed in your head, assembled by frenzied brain chemicals out of the few things you were able to learn about her. The real version has her own flaws, quirks, strengths, eccentricities, and loves. She is far more human than the person your brain shuffled onto a pedestal and she’s living her own life. The crush was fun, but let it go now. It’s the kindest thing to do for yourself.

As an introvert on the spectrum, talking to strangers is hard. It’s uncomfortable. On bad days, I feel like I’m trying to crawl out of my own skin when I end up talking to someone I don’t know (and on really bad days, even with people I do know.) But sometimes we have to do uncomfortable things to grow, and the more you do the thing the easier it becomes. Start small and realize it’ll feel weird. Work your way up. Talk to girls and make some friends, not because you eventually want to be involved with them but because you want another friend. A wonderful thing happens as you make friends: you start seeing other people’s perspectives. You start feeling more comfortable. And you open yourself up to more experiences. Some of these experiences are even fun!

Having said all that about crushes… I met my wife, many years ago, at a Halloween party. I was instantly smitten and yeah, I had a crush on her. A big one. I went to a drag show with some friends a few weeks later and she was there! We snuck out for a cigarette and talked, awkwardly, for a few minutes.

The next time I talked to her, it was at a show she was playing at a dive bar. She played an instrument?! I had no idea. I was a terminal case at that point. I remember standing in the audience, going over what I should say to her when the set ended. As it turned out, she announced that this would be their final show and she was moving out of state with her boyfriend a week later. I was devastated.

It took a little while, but I let go and moved on. We both had very interesting lives for the next few years and met up again at another party. We ended up talking a lot, texting, going to shows. We started a band with a mutual friend, learned some obscure asian card game together, and eventually said “what the hell, we should probably be dating.”

She didn’t end up being anything like the girl I had a crush on, and we’ve been happily together for almost a decade. I don’t think any of that would have been possible if I’d brooded over her and never gotten over the crush.

Here’s a weird one: Pac-Man World. 3Dish platformer with a lot of neat tricks and surprises. It’s not groundbreaking, but it made me genuinely happy when I played it.

Also, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. There’s so much stuff to do in this game, and if you do it right the

and there’s even more stuff to do.

Try thinking about baseball.