
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds really hard on several levels.
It seems your mother dismisses the concept of mental health and is strongly prejudiced against psychology. That’s unfortunately quite common, especially among older generations, but not only. Do you have other people in your life who are more understanding?
I found interesting that you waited to be alone to cry. Did you stop yourself in her presence? What do you think would happen if you did?
It sounds like it would indeed be great for you if you could find a job and afford to move out. You’re already applying for a lot of jobs, so well done acting on that! It must be hard indeed that it hasn’t paid off yet. Keep trying various things. Something will work out eventually! I don’t know what your schedule looks like outside of applying for jobs, but if you have free time, one idea that would come to me in that situation would be to volunteer in some NGO, or some other kind of project. That might be a good way to get out of the house, meet interesting people, and get this feeling of being useful, which is very important to all of us.
Good luck!


It’s dark to call this uplifting. The positive version of this is that we have access to amazing medical help if we choose not to dismiss it