John Mulaney’s take

Dear Salt,

I hope this message doesn’t find you. May your beers be warm and your showers frigid.

Cold regards, Prime

Did you mean to post this on shittyasklemmy?

iSame

I saw a full rainbow from a plane once. It was sick

Went do we even HAVE that switch

A vegetable is any part of a plant that you can eat. So fruits are indeed vegetables

Personal is crazy

Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow

Hey yo check out this guy with the ornithopter!

Fuck, this is good

I just checked, you can chat. I thought of it as kind of a newer feature but it’s probably been available for a few years now.

Maybe the problem is that you can’t make a group chat?

Edit: you can definitely make group chats

Skipping ds9 intro? Straight to brig

Good to know. I always thought it would be more exciting to jump from the top!

Damn, I gotta get one of those negative mortgages

Didn’t they add a chat function to the regular Spotify app? Why wouldn’t they just use that?

I’ve got a bad case of… Diarrhea

I think what’s going on with the “torment matrix” problem is that the people who do the most heinous shit don’t usually have much imagination. When they see someone dreaming up a horrible scenario they see it as an unironic opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise.

More succinctly: don’t give them any ideas!

I don’t think Star Wars is about a girl who fucking knows

I would guess it’s closer to la-ti-byoo-layt