You single?

Your average Griffith enjoyer

Rude.

I am drunk and this is very funny

Ugh. Five years? And then he ruined my life twice.

I have an excel sheet with tasks and a random number generator.

I also have to try a new food every time I’m at the grocery store

This isn’t true at all. Everywhere you see average guys out there with girls. Yes, attractive people gain attention. But also, average people date.

I love this so much I saved it

This is delightful, thank you for sharing.

This is hilarious.

This might be one of the greatest things I have ever seen.

Might as well buy stuff at a thrift store. You find quality and good fabric as long as you’re willing to sift. I buy 120-200 dollar cashmere sweaters for 20-25 bucks. I don’t trust that cheap shit either. If it’s cotton, cool, but if it’s not… 2 bucks is hella suspicious.

Need a medic on my team. Survival is paramount.

After you spoke to a therapist

It sounds like he’s going to get someone seriously injured or killed.